A child stamping their foot in the supermarket, a teenager refusing to put down their screen, a dispute between siblings escalating at dinner time. Most families go through these situations without a manual. Supporting a child in their education is not just about setting rules: it’s about learning to adjust your parenting approach over time, according to age, context, and temperament.
Understanding a child’s emotions before wanting to correct them
Have you ever noticed that an angry child rarely calms down when asked to do so? This is because their emotional brain takes over their reasoning ability. Before correcting a behavior, it is essential to acknowledge what triggers it.
Let’s take an example. A four-year-old throws their plate because they wanted pasta and not rice. The instinctive reaction would be to scold. An approach focused on emotion management in children involves naming what they are feeling: “You are disappointed because this is not what you expected.” This simple verbal reflection helps them identify their emotion, which is the first step in learning to regulate it.
Some parents ask three questions to develop their children’s emotional intelligence: “What are you feeling?”, “What put you in this state?”, “What do you need right now?” These formulations, echoed by several parenting specialists, provide the child with a framework to verbalize instead of reacting physically.
Resources exist to delve deeper into this approach. Families looking for a structured starting point can consult the parents’ page of Parlons Enfance, which gathers concrete guidelines on parent-child relationships and developmental stages.
Positive parenting: beyond the concept, what it changes in daily life
The term “positive parenting” is everywhere, but its concrete application remains vague for many families. It is not about accepting everything or removing limits. Positive parenting is based on a firm framework set without violence, whether physical or verbal.
A recent legislative benchmark illustrates this evolution. In 2026, Switzerland amended Article 302 of its Civil Code to explicitly prohibit any educational violence, including forms that do not leave physical traces. This reform also requires professionals in contact with children (teachers, caregivers, social workers) to report concerning situations.
What does this look like at home? Here are some principles that replace traditional punishment:
- Describe the troubling behavior instead of judging the child (“You hit your sister” rather than “You are mean”), which separates the act from the identity.
- Propose a repair rather than a punishment: the child who spills a glass of water cleans it up themselves, teaching them responsibility without humiliation.
- Offer framed choices (“Would you prefer to tidy up your toys before or after the bath?”) so the child feels they have a say in their daily life.
These adjustments may seem simple on paper. In practice, they require the parent to regulate their own emotions, which explains why the mental health of parents directly conditions the quality of educational support. The Psycom website even dedicates a file to this topic, reminding us that taking care of oneself is not a luxury but a prerequisite.
Screens and digital life: setting a framework without starting a war
The issue of screens crystallizes tensions in the majority of households. Children are accessing them at younger ages, and parents oscillate between laissez-faire and total prohibition.
Neither of these two stances works sustainably. Prohibition creates frustration and pushes the child to consume in secret. Laissez-faire, on the other hand, deprives the child of learning self-regulation. A framework negotiated with the child yields better results than a rule imposed without explanation.
UNESCO recently called for a “new contract between parents and children” regarding social media, emphasizing that parental training in digital matters is as necessary as training for the children themselves. In other words, to support a child on these topics, one must first understand what they are doing and why it attracts them.
Some practical guidelines:
- Define usage slots together rather than a number of hours, as a child retains better “no screens during meals or after 8 PM” than an abstract counter.
- Use screens in shared activities (a game, a documentary, a creative tutorial) at least once a week, turning passive time into a relational moment.
- Regularly discuss what the child has seen or done online, without an inquisitorial tone, to maintain an open dialogue space.
School-family relationship: an underutilized lever
Academic success depends as much on what happens at home as on what happens in class. Research on the link between parental support and academic results converges on one point: it is not the parent’s level of education that matters most, but their involvement in monitoring.
This does not mean monitoring every exercise. A parent who is interested in the content of the lessons, who asks open questions (“What interesting thing did you learn today?”) and who participates in school meetings sends a strong signal: education matters in this family.
Communication with teachers remains a weak point in many households. An exchange at the beginning of the year to signal a difficulty or a particular family context can prevent misunderstandings that accumulate over months. Education and social work professionals have listening and guidance tools, but they can only mobilize them if dialogue exists.
In France, a reform planned for 2027 will strengthen the child’s right to be heard in educational assistance procedures, with the mandatory designation of a lawyer for each minor concerned. This change reminds us that educational support does not rely solely on parents: it is a network involving family, school, health professionals, and the legal framework.
Each family navigates its constraints, doubts, and resources. The most useful thing is not to seek the perfect method, but to maintain three things: regular listening to the child, a stable framework that adapts as they grow, and the ability to ask for help when the situation exceeds what one can manage alone.
